Lailah ☼ Fethmus Mioma (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sansseraph) wrote2016-09-14 01:16 pm
sansseraph) wrote2016-09-14 01:16 pm
Entry tags:
One Soul's Cry [Drift Fleet; Extra]
After making sure everyone's alright, Lailah retires to her room on the Pathstone. She takes as hot a shower as she can stand, which may as well be the highest setting, though she feels a bit numb as she goes through the motions of washing the mud and blood off her body and out of her hair. Wanting to keep her hands busy, she throws her clothes in the wash and cleans her shoes, too. When there's nothing left for the fire seraph to do, she sits on the bed in her robe. Lailah's hair spills free from her barrette, not wanting to put it up right now.
The seraph is perfectly silent as she listens to the world around her. Lailah listens to the sound of machinery, sometimes hearing someone yell. Still she remains silent, occasionally shifting into a more comfortable position on the bed. Listening. Waiting.
She doesn't have to wait much longer.
Lailah shakes as she inhales sharply. She covers her mouth with one hand as the tears finally well up and fall from her eyes. The fire seraph hunches over, looking like she's been punched in the stomach or trying to curl up into a tiny ball. Perhaps it's both. Lailah squeezes her eyes shut as more tears leak. Her breathing comes out as sharp gasps, sobbing and keening brokenly. Eventually, she grabs her pillow and hugs it tightly to herself, burying her face in it as she weeps.
"Kill me!"
"It's not your fault, Lailah."
"Lailah! Help me!"
"It's not—"
"Help me!" "Kill me!"
Mikleo's so—
She tries to gulp down her breaths even though she knows she has no need to do so. She can't help it. Words and images keep flashing in her mind. Every time Lailah thinks she's done, an image will flash and she finds herself crying all over again. The seraph thinks of all the times she's had Shepherds fall or quit on themselves or her. She thinks of them, remembers her grief when it came time to deal with them with her next Shepherd, and when she thinks of Sorey—
I got one back. Lailah sobs. Sorey's the only one who's come back. Thank you, Maotelus, thank you.
Inevitably, though, her thoughts turn to Michael and Muse. She can't help feeling as though she's failed them. Their sole surviving descendant, who was given a second chance, is now gone. Even if it turns out that death is impermanent, it's still a failure. He has still died and it's her fault for not being here sooner. For not giving either of them enough guidance to hold out on their own.
Forgive me, Michael, Muse. I couldn't save him. The fire seraph holds onto her pillow tighter. Please, please forgive me. I couldn't do anything for Mikleo, like I couldn't do anything for either of you. I'm so sorry, please forgive me.
And there's never an answer for those pleas.
The seraph is perfectly silent as she listens to the world around her. Lailah listens to the sound of machinery, sometimes hearing someone yell. Still she remains silent, occasionally shifting into a more comfortable position on the bed. Listening. Waiting.
She doesn't have to wait much longer.
Lailah shakes as she inhales sharply. She covers her mouth with one hand as the tears finally well up and fall from her eyes. The fire seraph hunches over, looking like she's been punched in the stomach or trying to curl up into a tiny ball. Perhaps it's both. Lailah squeezes her eyes shut as more tears leak. Her breathing comes out as sharp gasps, sobbing and keening brokenly. Eventually, she grabs her pillow and hugs it tightly to herself, burying her face in it as she weeps.
"Kill me!"
"It's not your fault, Lailah."
"Lailah! Help me!"
"It's not—"
"Help me!" "Kill me!"
Mikleo's so—
She tries to gulp down her breaths even though she knows she has no need to do so. She can't help it. Words and images keep flashing in her mind. Every time Lailah thinks she's done, an image will flash and she finds herself crying all over again. The seraph thinks of all the times she's had Shepherds fall or quit on themselves or her. She thinks of them, remembers her grief when it came time to deal with them with her next Shepherd, and when she thinks of Sorey—
I got one back. Lailah sobs. Sorey's the only one who's come back. Thank you, Maotelus, thank you.
Inevitably, though, her thoughts turn to Michael and Muse. She can't help feeling as though she's failed them. Their sole surviving descendant, who was given a second chance, is now gone. Even if it turns out that death is impermanent, it's still a failure. He has still died and it's her fault for not being here sooner. For not giving either of them enough guidance to hold out on their own.
Forgive me, Michael, Muse. I couldn't save him. The fire seraph holds onto her pillow tighter. Please, please forgive me. I couldn't do anything for Mikleo, like I couldn't do anything for either of you. I'm so sorry, please forgive me.
And there's never an answer for those pleas.