[Oh, okay, it's a Zaveid matter. She relaxes a bit, but she doesn't give him anything less than her undivided attention.]
If there's one thing that becomes more difficult as seraphim age, it's changing bad habits. I might not be able to entirely fault Zaveid for his, given his experiences in life, but I know that it's no less frustrating.
[Lailah sighs softly. Not even she's got the whole story, either.]
Would you like to talk about what's happened? It may help, though I'm not sure how helpful I'll be with that.
[Sorey makes a little grumpy thinking sound as he tries to come up with something specific.] It's just that- I always get this feeling that he's holding me at arm's length. Even when I try to tell him that I want to be a proper Shepherd to him, but then I wonder if it's because he only made the pact again out of obligation, and I don't feel like I have the right to ask anything of him and-
But it's not like I'm not asking him to give me everything, just to rely on me a little. I can tell he's hurting, I can feel it.
[Lailah hums a little as Sorey talks. Yeah, that sounds like something Zaveid would do, though she's noticed that it's only been worse since Mikleo had to be killed.]
He did very recently, but not on that topic. Honestly, Zaveid only talked to me about that a little bit when he accepted the pact with me.
[The fire seraph quiets down to think carefully on her word choice.]
I suppose you could say that this is his way of protecting himself from being hurt. It might not seem like it, but he does truly care about you and that's likely scaring him. You're human, after all, and you wouldn't be the first human he's befriended and subsequently lost. Just as I doubt that Eizen has been the only seraph friend he's lost. That kind of pain can be very hard for a seraph to open up about.
[Even Lailah has trouble talking about it, despite the oath in place.]
It's going to be very frustrating to deal with before it gets better. Yet, I think that your personality and consistent offers will eventually get through to him.
[If not, then this fire seraph will be having a somewhat gentle conversation with a certain shirtless Casanova about it.]
Should I really be persistent about this though? I know part of the reason he's holding back is because he wants to protect me, he's said as much.
[Sorey runs a hand through his hair.] If it's like you said, would it be right to ask him to open up like that if I'm just going to die too soon anyway? [It seems a little cruel, when he thinks about it like that. Maybe he'd only be doing more damage in the long run.]
[This is going into her oath territory on a technicality. So, time to be a little cagey about this.]
That's...not necessarily true. Your fate as a human isn't set in stone.
[Lailah sighs a little, frowning.]
Even still, I believe it is right to ask that. In the case of Zaveid, and other seraphim like him, opening up to you regardless of your mortal life means that he's at least talking to someone about it rather than ignoring it.
[She pauses.]
In a way, you could say that the Shepherd's pact is cruel to me, too. Yet, I don't view it like that. I'll always feel sorrow at the death of a Shepherd, but that means that I cared about them and that they had an impact on my life. I believe it's disrespectful to discount humans as a source of emotional comfort for that reason.
...Lailah, you're strong. [Sorey fiddles with his comm. He and Lailah had agreed to go back into this wholeheartedly, together. He's not about to question her resolve but sometimes he has no idea how she can bring herself to take on Shepherd after Shepherd when she has to go through their loss time after time. Just losing Mikleo for those two agonizing weeks had been enough to leave a wound on Sorey's heart he's not sure will ever heal.]
You're right, of course. Maybe I'm just trying to protect myself. I'm sorry for being so inconsiderate.
Perhaps, but don't forget your own strengths, Sorey.
[Another soft sigh.]
It's natural to want to protect yourself from something that hurts. For you, it's also natural to want to protect others from that hurt, too. You have a very tricky balance to maintain, but you'll learn in time.
[Lailah smiles a little, now, and maybe it can be heard in her voice.]
It's alright. You wouldn't be the first human to think that. After all, our perspectives on life are very different.
That's true. [Sorey leans back with a little sigh of his own.] I shouldn't be impatient. Slow and steady persistence is the way to go.
[The smile in his voice is probably obvious too, as is the affection welling up in his heart.] Thanks. I always feel better after discussing things with you. I might be a little biased, but I can't imagine anybody I'd rather have as my Prime Lord.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
voice
Of course I have the time, Sorey, and you're more than welcome to vent with me.
[What's just happened? Who does she need to burn or scold for upsetting her son???]
voice
It's just- [And another sigh, dang,] It's Zaveid. I knew trying to connect with him again was going to be difficult, but, I don't know.
voice
If there's one thing that becomes more difficult as seraphim age, it's changing bad habits. I might not be able to entirely fault Zaveid for his, given his experiences in life, but I know that it's no less frustrating.
[Lailah sighs softly. Not even she's got the whole story, either.]
Would you like to talk about what's happened? It may help, though I'm not sure how helpful I'll be with that.
voice
[Sorey makes a little grumpy thinking sound as he tries to come up with something specific.] It's just that- I always get this feeling that he's holding me at arm's length. Even when I try to tell him that I want to be a proper Shepherd to him, but then I wonder if it's because he only made the pact again out of obligation, and I don't feel like I have the right to ask anything of him and-
But it's not like I'm not asking him to give me everything, just to rely on me a little. I can tell he's hurting, I can feel it.
Has he talked to you at all?
voice
He did very recently, but not on that topic. Honestly, Zaveid only talked to me about that a little bit when he accepted the pact with me.
[The fire seraph quiets down to think carefully on her word choice.]
I suppose you could say that this is his way of protecting himself from being hurt. It might not seem like it, but he does truly care about you and that's likely scaring him. You're human, after all, and you wouldn't be the first human he's befriended and subsequently lost. Just as I doubt that Eizen has been the only seraph friend he's lost. That kind of pain can be very hard for a seraph to open up about.
[Even Lailah has trouble talking about it, despite the oath in place.]
It's going to be very frustrating to deal with before it gets better. Yet, I think that your personality and consistent offers will eventually get through to him.
[If not, then this fire seraph will be having a somewhat gentle conversation with a certain shirtless Casanova about it.]
voice
[Sorey runs a hand through his hair.] If it's like you said, would it be right to ask him to open up like that if I'm just going to die too soon anyway? [It seems a little cruel, when he thinks about it like that. Maybe he'd only be doing more damage in the long run.]
voice
That's...not necessarily true. Your fate as a human isn't set in stone.
[Lailah sighs a little, frowning.]
Even still, I believe it is right to ask that. In the case of Zaveid, and other seraphim like him, opening up to you regardless of your mortal life means that he's at least talking to someone about it rather than ignoring it.
[She pauses.]
In a way, you could say that the Shepherd's pact is cruel to me, too. Yet, I don't view it like that. I'll always feel sorrow at the death of a Shepherd, but that means that I cared about them and that they had an impact on my life. I believe it's disrespectful to discount humans as a source of emotional comfort for that reason.
Re: voice
You're right, of course. Maybe I'm just trying to protect myself. I'm sorry for being so inconsiderate.
voice
[Another soft sigh.]
It's natural to want to protect yourself from something that hurts. For you, it's also natural to want to protect others from that hurt, too. You have a very tricky balance to maintain, but you'll learn in time.
[Lailah smiles a little, now, and maybe it can be heard in her voice.]
It's alright. You wouldn't be the first human to think that. After all, our perspectives on life are very different.
voice
[The smile in his voice is probably obvious too, as is the affection welling up in his heart.] Thanks. I always feel better after discussing things with you. I might be a little biased, but I can't imagine anybody I'd rather have as my Prime Lord.