Better than you and Zaveid, I imagine. [He doesn't comment on why, exactly, he is alive. He doesn't know. He doesn't want to get into what he thinks about it; Sorey makes up a large part of that, and Sorey is...]
-- You need to break the pact. The residual malevolence in the Fleet is cake compared to what's on that planet.
I might be better off than Zaveid at this point. Sorey isn't aware of my presence.
[Lailah pauses and sighs softly.]
I'm aware. Sorey's malevolence has been coming through our connection, and, more than that, he still retains all the powers of a Shepherd. On the other hand, we also need it if we wish to pinpoint his exact location, not to mention monitor his malevolence. Either way, the pact will be severed.
[Her tone is firm and resolved in that last statement. Lailah won't let anything stop her from doing that.]
[Lailah's pinching the bridge of her nose and she's only doing so because this isn't a video chat. Her voice, though, is more controlled. She's not going to take any of her frustration or pain out on Dezel. He doesn't need that right now, especially when he's hurting already.]
Dezel, if you are to blame, then I am of equal blame. If Sorey has fallen because of my absence, then it's because I failed to teach him how to best deal with his personal malevolence. Not only that, but I failed to teach my Sub Lords the same lesson so that they may help him.
[It'll never be just his fault. Both Zaveid and Dezel need to learn this.]
So, I don't see how it's logical to put the blame all on you.
[Everyone keeps telling him not to blame himself, and he isn't sure if it's because they earnestly believe it, or because they don't want him to fall to malevolence. He doesn't think he could let himself become a dragon after seeing what he's seen, but he also... feels so tired, sometimes. The past five years have been nothing but revenge. Revenge. Revenge. And when he finally got some rest, he...
He shakes his head to clear his thoughts.]
You weren't here. You couldn't have taught us anything... and even on our world, I'm not sure I would've given you the opportunity.
[He thinks briefly of Cardinal Forton. Some hellions can't be purified. Some people refuse to be saved.]
You had your own demons to fight, and I'm sure that you still do. However, I still stand by you. I want you to know that I never regretted that you were my Sub Lord.
[Lailah falls silent for a moment. She closes her eyes, sensing, probing their connection gently.]
...No. We still have time to save Sorey. [The fire seraph pauses.] Should it come to it, if he can't be purified by the time we reach him, I will not ask you or anyone to do the alternative. That's something I should do myself.
[It's not a decision she makes lightly. However, she's had these few days to think and consider her options, as well as a couple contingency plans.]
[Dezel makes a soft noise of surprise. Was he thinking that? Yes. Did she somehow figure it out? Yes. How is she so good at answering the unspoken questions? It's ridiculous, then, that she won't answer the more direct ones, but he doesn't blame her. He doesn't blame her for any of it.]
... Thanks. [He's never been more grateful to have people who won't bullshit him. Not at a time like this.
But then it's back to business.]
Is that the Prime Lord's duty? That seems... [cruel. But many things are, in this world.]
[Her tone is full of sadness and regret. That's all she can say, though. Not just because Lailah's oath will prevent her from speaking in more detail, but that it's something she doesn't want to do again. It's never easy for her.]
[Oh, Lailah. He's never been particularly close to her, but the distance in her voice stirs something in him that he can't quite name. He can't imagine having to kill the human he chose. He wouldn't-- he couldn't.
But Lailah is so old. She's seen so much more than he'll ever know, and really, he doesn't want to know.]
It won't get to that point.
[Look, he's trying. Lailah chose him even though she could have left him behind. Rose wouldn't have known. She wouldn't have said anything, and Dezel would eventually have become overwhelmed by malevolence and turned into a hellion-- or worse.
She granted his request for the Shepherd's power. He owes her something.]
If we have to make another damn gun, then we will.
[Lailah hopes that nobody else will know the pain of ending the life of a human they've chosen. Yet, she also knows that she likely won't be the Lady of the Lake forever. Time changes things, for better or worse.
The words take her by surprise, but the fire seraph is unspeakably grateful for them.]
Absolutely. Until then, try to stay safe. I'll let you know if anything changes.
[She doesn't want to lose any of the wind seraphim as well.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
voice.
-- You need to break the pact. The residual malevolence in the Fleet is cake compared to what's on that planet.
voice.
[Lailah pauses and sighs softly.]
I'm aware. Sorey's malevolence has been coming through our connection, and, more than that, he still retains all the powers of a Shepherd. On the other hand, we also need it if we wish to pinpoint his exact location, not to mention monitor his malevolence. Either way, the pact will be severed.
[Her tone is firm and resolved in that last statement. Lailah won't let anything stop her from doing that.]
voice.
[He hesitates. There's more he wants to say, but this isn't the time. Then again, there's a lot he wants to say about the current situation, too.]
... If you want to blame me, you can. It's the most logical explanation after all.
voice.
Dezel, if you are to blame, then I am of equal blame. If Sorey has fallen because of my absence, then it's because I failed to teach him how to best deal with his personal malevolence. Not only that, but I failed to teach my Sub Lords the same lesson so that they may help him.
[It'll never be just his fault. Both Zaveid and Dezel need to learn this.]
So, I don't see how it's logical to put the blame all on you.
voice.
He shakes his head to clear his thoughts.]
You weren't here. You couldn't have taught us anything... and even on our world, I'm not sure I would've given you the opportunity.
[He thinks briefly of Cardinal Forton. Some hellions can't be purified. Some people refuse to be saved.]
... Lailah. Is the Shepherd too far gone?
voice.
[Lailah falls silent for a moment. She closes her eyes, sensing, probing their connection gently.]
...No. We still have time to save Sorey. [The fire seraph pauses.] Should it come to it, if he can't be purified by the time we reach him, I will not ask you or anyone to do the alternative. That's something I should do myself.
[It's not a decision she makes lightly. However, she's had these few days to think and consider her options, as well as a couple contingency plans.]
voice.
... Thanks. [He's never been more grateful to have people who won't bullshit him. Not at a time like this.
But then it's back to business.]
Is that the Prime Lord's duty? That seems... [cruel. But many things are, in this world.]
voice.
It won't be the first time.
[Her tone is full of sadness and regret. That's all she can say, though. Not just because Lailah's oath will prevent her from speaking in more detail, but that it's something she doesn't want to do again. It's never easy for her.]
voice.
But Lailah is so old. She's seen so much more than he'll ever know, and really, he doesn't want to know.]
It won't get to that point.
[Look, he's trying. Lailah chose him even though she could have left him behind. Rose wouldn't have known. She wouldn't have said anything, and Dezel would eventually have become overwhelmed by malevolence and turned into a hellion-- or worse.
She granted his request for the Shepherd's power. He owes her something.]
If we have to make another damn gun, then we will.
voice.
The words take her by surprise, but the fire seraph is unspeakably grateful for them.]
Absolutely. Until then, try to stay safe. I'll let you know if anything changes.
[She doesn't want to lose any of the wind seraphim as well.]